Getting Ready to Ace Those Exams

Sooo here we are at exam time again. You've had weeks to prepare, but you've been drinking, partying, carousing till all hours of the night, eating halucinogenic shrooms and watching Clash of the Titans for the hundredth time.

Well I'm going to ignore all that and tell you what you should've done to ace those exams, Mr. College!

First, in the weeks leading up to the exam, make sure you read every reading thoroughly. Save yourself time cramming the night before by completing the readings on time, rereading them if you need to in order to really feel comfortable with them. Trust your memory. If you give your mind enough time to absorb the readings by going over them once or twice really carefully, your mind will retain that information for exam day.

The same thing goes for your notes. Just read them, and reread them, and reread them again. Don't try too hard to memorize; by simply reading over your notes a few times, you're doing all the memorization you need! Then when you're sitting in class taking that test, you'll see a picture of those notes in your mind, and the answers will come!

Try to do your careful readings of the texts and notes just before going to sleep. By going straight to bed after studying, your mind goes over everything it learned during the day and retains it. That way, when exam time comes, all that information is more likely to pop into your head right when you need it!

Never pull an all-nighter on the night before the exam. You need sleep far more than you need a few extra hours of studying. All the information is in your mind; you just need to give your brain the rest it needs in order to be able to access that information when taking the exam.

And finally, you have to try not to be nervous when taking the actual exam. Be confident in the fact that you did everything you reasonably could to succeed. Being nervous is distracting, and it makes you less likely to remember everything you studied. Keep in mind that it's only an exam, which, in the grand scheme of things, is something you probably won't even remember a few years down the road. Sure, you want to do well, but what's the worst that could happen? If you read over your notes and assigned readings, you did all you could. It's nothing to stress about!
Just do your best, and if you follow these rules, the grades will take care of themselves!

And uh, I guess a shot of booze before the test would hurt.