Nascar Sucks

So I'm sittin' here at 6 in the morning because I can't get a full night's sleep to save my life, when suddenly it hits me:

Nascar sucks.

Yeah that's right, I said it. I know millions of people enjoy Nascar, and they drive thousands of miles and camp out and replace their birthdays with Nascar events, but that doesn't change a damn thing.

What's that you say? Nascar is cool, and it is really I who suck?

ENHHHHHH [buzzer noise], wrong. I don't suck, Nascar sucks.

But all is not lost, Nascar. Chin up. There is a slight modification that could be made that would interest me. I would watch Nascar on TV (but I still wouldn't attend the events) if the drivers would get "co-pilots" whose job it is to disable the other cars in the race with whatever weapons and tools they can contruct out of a junk yard.

I'm talking about throwing scrap metal, pipes, old tires and maybe even towing junked cars into the road to muck up the other drivers and win glory on the racetrack.

Nascar, I know your business is struggling, so take note and save yourselves while there's still time.